Shattered. Mirrors.

Shattered. Mirrors.

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This time last year, I was sinking in my emotions. Everything around me and within me was falling apart.

Trapped in my past pains. I wasn’t aware of where they were coming from but I felt them heavily. It got harder and harder to breathe as the days went by. I was suffocating. Literally felt like I was dying on the inside. I remember those emotions, I remember those sensations as if it was yesterday.

I remember.

Now, here we are a year later reflecting on those days. Those emotions. Those sensations. This feelings.

They’re not gone but they’re fading. I spent the last 6 months focusing on myself.

My awareness. My presence. My pains.

I focused on all of it. It has been an extremely difficult journey. To purposely face all your pains, one by one is not an easy choice.

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I looked myself in the mirror and shattered the image that was reflecting back at me.

I brought myself to a space of healing. A space of LOVE. Where I am allowing myself to not only receive love from others but from MYSELF.

A place of unconditional love. Where my thoughts, words and actions are LOVE. What a difference from the space I was in last year to this year.

Facing all the pains and hurt instead of suppressing and avoiding opened my heart and allowed me to fall in love with myself and life.

I pray that I continue to shatter those images and pains as they enter my mind and heart. and pour that love onto the world.

Because I realized that a lot of my beliefs and stories that I've been holding onto, haven't been mine.

They've been passed on by family, society, and intimate relationships. 

Now, I am breaking those layers of conditioning to be my TRUE self. My loving self.

There is no need to hold onto anger, resentment and pain. It's time for forgiveness. 

Not for others but for myself for allowing those experiences to carry on for so long.

“Forgiveness means that you do not carry the baggage of an experience.”

So here is to life full of light, love and forgiveness. xo

Sanaa J.4 Comments